Monday, September 26, 2011

About Me

I am from a very large family, I have five other birth siblings and two adopted sisters. I was put up for adopted about five years ago due to the fact that I did not have a stable home. I had been to 15 different foster homes within 9 years. I was separated from my siblings at times. I mean honestly I understand why no one would take all of us together. There were totally too many of us and we were crazy. The three oldest of us were stuck together and the other three were together. I have had a very traumatic life. I was beat by my father, raped by his uncle, and I played the role of a mother to my four sisters and one brother. I had to cook, clean, and help everyone with their homework because my parents did not graduate high school. My mother could barley even read. My father was almost never home. He was either at work or working on a car in the driveway with some buddies of his. Before I came to live with the family I am happy with today I had over night visitations with my parents. I remember every time we went to stay for the weekend we were at a different house. I remember being scared but happy at the same time. When I was younger I never understood what was really going on, why these people would keep taking me from my parents and I didn't quite understand why I had to take care of all the kids. At times I would be locked in my room with all of the children. It would be days maybe even weeks. With no bathroom available or any food or water. I would always ask to go to my grandparents house because there I knew I was okay. I knew that I would be feed and that I would not be locked into a room at days at a time. Sometimes even felt that they loved and cared about me and my siblings more than my parents did, and still to this day I believe that. 

Two or three years ago I went to court to testify against my parents. I didn't want but I knew something had to be done so other children would be okay and save. So that they wouldn't be allowed to take care of other peoples children. I was scared but I knew it was the right thing to do. There were many people there that tried to comfort me, I guess you can say that kinda helped. I don't know one other child besides the ones I am forced to live with that have ever had to put their parents behind bars. I felt safer though, and I'm pretty sure so did my family. My mother I believe got 25 years. I think she is serving 10 and has probation for 15 or the other way around. And my father is in prison for the rest of his life. 

I am happy that I was saved. I am happy I have a stable home now. Yes things can get a bit crazy but that's how my life will be for the rest of my life. Two of my sisters and my one and only brother have a sever mental illness. They have these tantrums and they start to get violent. They are on meds to try to keep it under control but every now and again things get out of hand. My sister that is one year younger than me has proven that to all of us. She has made it a living hell to be home lately but we are trying to move forward. My brother is currently living in a hospital but will shortly be in the process of transiting home. 

I have currently found out that I am deaf. I went to the ear doctor about two weeks ago and was told that I have lost a significant amount of hearing. Probably about 50 percent or more. This Thursday I will be going to be fitted for hearing aids, and you can count on a blog afterwards. 

Well I'm about drained out. Its been a long day. First day back to school from a week of vacation. And let me tell you if you are a teenager and your home schooled and missing out on the actual walking down the hall ways in a high school your totally missing out. High school is not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. But anyways. I'm off to bed now, got school in the morning. 


  1. I've been reading your mom's blog for a few years and it's great to hear things from your perspective. From your writing it sounds like you are an amazing young woman and I look forward to reading more of your writing.

  2. I have also read your mom's blog for a long time, and it's great that you're getting into writing also. :)

    I grew up hearing and lost most of my hearing due to an autoimmune disease at the age of 25. It was very difficult, but it was also a really unique experience. I learned to sign, and I had to learn how to ask my friends and family for help because I was very independent. I finally got fitted for a hearing aid last week (I am profoundly deaf in one ear so a hearing aid won't help at all) and I'm excited to get it.

    The thing I had wish I knew when I was going deaf was that it's not as bad as you think it will be. Really. It's just a different way to experience the world - I notice how things look or smell or feel much more now. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to communicate, or that I would lose some of my relationships. That has not happened. I adapted. You will adapt. I wish you all the best, and let me know if you have any questions about hearing loss. :)

  3. Hi - I'm also a reader of your mom's blog, and I'm so glad to see you're also a writer! I am really proud of you for working so hard to overcome these obstacles that you grew up with. I look forward to reading more in the future! I grew up in a unsafe household, too. I'm 35 years old now, married with 2 kids. I have two college degrees and I'm a teacher now. I chose to have a good adulthood. :) I became a teacher to help my students have a good role model and show them what they are capable of.

    I'd also like to mention that I have a few students that are deaf/hard of hearing. I teach English at a community college. This semester, there is a deaf girl in one of my classes. She is just like any other college student, except she has an interpreter to sign what I'm blabbing about. :) Being deaf doesn't have to limit you in life. Do you know the classical composer, Beethoven? He wrote so many beautiful pieces, and he was deaf. He used his knowledge of music and would feel the vibrations on the piano to help him compose. Next time you get a chance, look up Symphony #9 (aka "Ode to Joy"). It's a beautiful piece. Symphony #5 is also one of the famous ones. You'll recognize it!

    Good luck with the fitting of your hearing aids! I'll be thinking about you. And also thinking about your brother and sisters, and sending them warm wishes for peace and health.

  4. I am in the same boat my hearing has started to go and I will be getting tested soon because I think I may need some kind of hearing devices currently or in the near future. There are many good forums for people who have hearing impairments or loss one that I have visited a few times is it's not just for those who are deaf its also for those who have hearing impairments. I look forward to reading your blog!

  5. Hi there. You did a great job with this. You are one strong young lady and I am so proud of you. I'm looking forward to reading your perspective on your "chaos". I think it will help a lot of people to see it from your point of view.

  6. Hi! Just wanted to let you know,that God so loves you,I too come from a very broken home and I too was abused in every way and I leave you with this :Psalm 103 Praise the lord,my soul!All my being ,praise his holy name! Praise the Lord ,my soul,and do not forget how kind he is,He forgives all my sins and heals all m y diseases he keeps me from the grave and bleses me with love and mercy.He fills my life with good things so that I stay young and strong like an eagle.The Lord judges in favor of the oppressed and gives them their rights!

  7. Thank you all for the support. (:

  8. Another reader from your mom's blog popping in and I want to thank you for being so open about your life. I'm a middle school teacher and I've been talking with a student since last year about some really awful things she's gone through and chose to trust me in disclosing last year. (Many things similar to your past.) It's really really hard walking her through the investigations that are going on, but I've gained a lot of hope for her just from knowing your story. Knowing that you and your siblings have come so far after such a traumatic past gives me hope & strength to keep doing what we have to do to keep her safe. So thank you. =)